Thursday, July 12, 2018

July 12th

Today, believe it or not, is
"National Eat Your Jello Day!"
Had no idea?
Me neither.
But
I did a little research.....
Powdered gelatin, was trademarked in New York back in 1897.
In Victorian times the upper classes were enamored with jelly molds
and meats in aspic. Pretty much, the only class with the time and
capability to refrigerate a fancy gelatin mold was the rich.
Gelatin was sold in sheets and had to be purified because of the "inert" ingredients.
Yuck!
You see, gelatin is a protein produced from collagen extracted
from boiled bones, connective tissues and other animal products.
Its actually been around since the 15th century.
Think - Hogs Head Cheese.
Back to Jello......
So, this guy Peter Cooper, obtained his patent for powdered gelatin.
By trade, he was an industrialist but, he was not actually looking for
a gelatin substitute, it was simply a happy accident.
Then, in 1897, a cough syrup manufacturer trade marked a fruit
flavored gelatin dessert that his wife named, Jell-o.
He eventually sold his dessert to Genesee Pure Foods.
Then, in a genius advertising blitz, they distributed free cookbooks.
The rest is baby boomer childhood history!
No household was complete without packages of J - E - L - L - O!
(you sang that, right?)
Me too.
My favorite flavor, you ask?
Any but lime.
I'm not a lime connoisseur.
Maybe sliced or in a margarita,
but no,
Don't like jello flavored lime.
My Mom used to float fruit cocktail inside Jello.
We loved that.
So, in honor of, National Eat Your Jello Day,
I'm opting for a Jello cup with mandarin oranges.
Win, win.
A.I don't have to make it and
B. I'm celebrating!
Yay!
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Speaking of Baby Boomer childhood....
This was what my first Barbie and Ken looked like.
Sadly,
1)I don't have them anymore
2)I dyed my Barbie's hair black with shoe polish
in some sort of half assed, creative,Vidal Sassoon type, attempt and
consequently dyed her entire HEAD purplish black!
Hey, I just realized, I made the first Monster High doll!
 I coulda been a millionaire!
I coulda been a contender!
3) My Ken had unfortunately developed premature male pattern baldness.
Don't know why.
The peach fuzz, buzz cut was ubiquitous on the Ken doll.
Why,I didn't take a Marks-A-Lot to his head I'll never know.
His fuzzy "hair" could have been a weird blackish blue too.
I would have been ahead of the '80's Goth looks.
But, in a thoughtless attempt to make my sister's Ken bald too,
(classic misery loves company, I guess)
I scraped his head on the cement of our front porch.
She caught me,
my Mom punished me,
and I felt all around, bad.
10 year old remorse only sticks to you as long
as your 8 year old sister can remember the incident.
P.S. Its for the rest of her LIFE!
😆
4)Those bathing suits were the only manufactured clothes
the dolls owned, everything else was
homemade lovingly by my Mom,
even a wedding dress.
 
 
I wasn't much for baby dolls,
or any doll really,
but I loved this one.
Her name was Patti Play Pal
She also is long gone.
She was relegated to the attic
and during Katrina,
she was part of the detritus
we had to throw out.
 
My bike!
A Schwinn Tornado!
God! I thought I was invincible on this simple piece
of bicycle artistry.
Wind in my hair, accidentally consuming several bugs.....
No frills, just pure freedom in a kids mind.
 
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Chickens.
Gotta love 'em
Ever since I've been back from California,
they seem to be ignoring me.
Odd behavior.
 Before I left,
they'd always run up to me as soon as I went out the door.
I figured it was simply that they were
mad that I was gone for a bit.
I was no longer a member of their flock.
The hen mafia considered me dead to them.
So, in the tried and true method of the mafia,
I tried a little bribery.
I made them a offer they couldn't refuse.
(no, I didn't go to the mattresses,
and no chicken head was in my bed)
They love watermelon rind.
I cut most of the watermelon off the rind and
walked outside with it a bowl.
I started whistling for them and
lo and behold,
they came running
At least tonight, I won't sleep with the fishes.
A pariah no more,
I now go out and they
welcome me as before.
I'm the Godmother!
(little witches!)
 
munching on dried grubs

waiting to be petted

Ethel patiently waiting her turn
for a pat.
 
 
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Now for some (probably bad) chicken jokes/puns
 
1)Did you hear that the chicken farmer died under
mysterious circumstances?
The police suspect fowl play!
 
2)Have you heard about the chicken thief
who ran afowl of the law?
 
I'll only do 2 because I really can't tell jokes.
I'm very bad at it.
In fact, I'm so bad that
I think I inspired a song.....
"I started a joke which started the whole world
crying...."
Yeah, that bad,
thanks for nothing, Barry Gibb!
 
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And
in the immortal words of my Mother,
"Everything happens for a reason"
 
💋
 
oh, and remember,
tomorrow's
Friday the 13th!
 
 




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