Saturday, October 21, 2017

October 21st

Yesterday, October 20th, was our 21st Wedding anniversary.
Wow! Time flies. 
We've been together since 1991, so in actuality, its been 26 years.
That means its been......
312 months,
9490 weeks
227,760 hours &
13,665,600 minutes. If I did the math right.....
When you think of sharing your life with someone, I mean all the ups and downs, it really is an "all or nothing" commitment. Love changes over time, but the sharing, caring, laughing, compassion and devotion never do. That's not to say that there haven't been times that we couldn't stand the sight of each other, but he's always been my life saver in a sometimes turbulent sea. There's no more of the "I'll manage this life alone", thank God. We are on this big blue marble for such a short time, and the human animal is certainly of the pack mentality. We have made our pack. We are a package deal. I love you and I'll never take that proclamation lightly.

I don't know why, but lately I've been accident prone. Last week I slipped in the tub. The aforementioned husband decided to spray it with a bleach type cleanser and neglect to tell me. As I got in, I went skating along the tub trying to get a foot hold or hand grip of something, anything and went down like a Dow Jones Stock Market crash and landed on my knees.
As I knelt there, definitely not in prayer, unless it was for the bleach spraying culprit to succumb to the same fate as me, I assessed my situation. The shower curtain was on top of my head along with the rod. I felt the top of my head and, yep, I had a bump! I'm also pretty sure I managed to say several NSFW words too!
The right knee was throbbing, the left hip was bruised and my right shin was skinned. Even with the bump on the left side of my head, I managed to not sustain much "hull" damage. So, now to get up.
This part was the hardest.
I'm pretty sure its hysterical to watch an old lady get up, but as I realized shortly after I fell, I was alone in the house.
Yeah, yeah "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Its true!
But I managed.
Then a day later......
I'm cleaning a can of soup out so I can put it in the box for recycle and I sliced open my first finger on my right hand.
Wonderful.
I finished cleaning the can (after all I'm consistent) and attempted to stop the bleeding.
Had to clean out the cut - (Campbell's veggie soup isn't consistent with healing).
Now, I don't wanna be a baby but, the damned cut hurt and I'm still sore from "The Fall".
Plain water wasn't doing the trick, there was residual soup in there. Peroxide was my go to cleaner.
Jesus!!!!
It felt like the old bubbly stuff was battery acid!
I toughed it out and located the miracle healing ointment, AKA Neosporin!
Band Aids are fast becoming a limited item in this house.......
So, is that all? Have you managed not to clutz out again???
Oh, no!
Oops, I did it again!
I'm eating lunch in the kitchen while reading a murder mystery on my Nook.
(That's probably my first mistake - not paying attention while eating).
I start to choke. I was eating a leftover chicken, Swiss and lettuce sandwich. It wasn't a small choke but a full bodied, all hands on deck, HACK!
I do a quick mental assessment. I'm still breathing, no need to throw myself over a chair to perform the Heimlich on myself and yes, I'm home alone again, so it seems ok.
But.......
The violent cough is just starting to amp up. My bladder won't stand for this shit and rebels!
My eyes want to get in on this rebellion too. They start to squirt and now I can't see. Then the nose starts to run! Holy Hell! It feels like I'm squirting from everywhere!
As I start to get my systems in check, I let out a burp.
Not really a burp......
It was an epic BELCH!
The kind of belch that erupts violently via the nostrils, burning nose hairs on the way out.
Annnnd, the eyes start their squirting again.
Everybody's gotta get into the act!
That was the last of my "problems". And as they say, things come in threes.
I hope to God, the curse finally is lifted!

On the lighter side........
I love a good pun.
Where'd that come from?
Just go with it...........

This one was too good not to include.
 
 

 
I hadda end with a chicken pun...
 
 
PSA: Weather permitting, go outside to see the Orionid Meteor Shower. It happens every October. Its caused by debris from Halley's comet as it skims our atmosphere.
 
 
(I have an Orion pun)
 

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